I lost my grandma last week. It was hard, harder than I thought it would be. I mean we all know that grandmas don’t live forever and that one day we will have to say goodbye but I didn’t think the pain would be as strong as it has been.
I do have peace & joy knowing that I will see her again one day but I sure am going to miss her here on this earth.
I have been flooded with memories, many that I haven’t thought about it years. All of my memories are centered around family & food because she showed us love through feeding us and her relationship with Jesus shined through in all she said & did.
She had 3 children & 16 grandchildren and she prayed for every single one of us, every single day. Her greatest wish was for all of us to know Jesus. But she never once pushed Jesus or religion on any of us. She just loved us and led by example. Jesus was such a part of her that even if you didn’t know what it was, you felt it. It was Jesus in her that made her the amazing grandma that she was to all of us.
Some of my best memories:
~ lavender, it was her favorite and I will always think of her when I smell lavender
~ the first verse I ever remember memorizing is Jeremiah 17:14 and grandma taught it to me. She would say it over me when I would get sick. When I was younger I seemed to always get swollen tonsils & ear infections and my parents were kinda hippieish so we didn’t go to doctors. Grandma would pray over me and remind me to pray this verse when I was sick & in pain.
~ her tucking me in when I was little and tucking the blanket tight around me and saying ‘snug as a bug in a rug’ and praying over me
~ letting me stay with her & grandpa when I was in 8th grade and going through a rebellious stage. I was making a lot of poor choices and she took me in for a few weeks and never judged or scolded or lectured me, she simply loved on me.
~ going through a rough patch in my marriage when I was pregnant with Hannah and her noticing something was off with me when no one else in my life sensed anything. We went to Steak N Shake and over a burger & fries she just listened and shared some of her marriage experience and prayed with me.
~ all the Sunday dinner smells of walking in after church – pot roast, chicken cacciatore, and her meatballs with her homemade sauce over pasta are my favorites and anytime I make them I think of her.
~ standing on a stool in her kitchen and helping with the dough for pizza frites
~ 2nd dinner! She made thee best sandwiches and when you spent the night you would stay up late with her watching Nick at Nite or an old movie, Doris Day was her favorite, and she would make you a late night sandwich. I usually wasn’t even hungry but they were so good that I said yes to one every single time.
~ grandma and auntie coming over to my townhome when I was in my 20’s to teach me how to make homemade ravioli
~ her coming and helping me after I gave birth to Andrew. She came for a few hours each day in the first week I was home with him. She helped me with Andrew and made my favorite dinners and simply loved on me.
~ thanksgiving dinner my whole life was at Grandma’s and when she couldn’t do it anymore my aunt took over but grandma never stopped helping in the kitchen.
~ her always having my favorite childhood snacks every time I visited which were Jays BBQ chips and ice cream sandwiches. Here’s the thing, she had a lot of grandkids and always had each of our favorites, she really was the best!
I had 2 grandmas. Granny who is still alive but I have seen a handful of times in my life and who has had no interest in getting to know me or have a relationship with me or any of my siblings and then Grandma whose greatest desire was to be a positive Godly influence to her family.
I want to be more like grandma. I desire to leave a legacy for my family & impact their lives for the better. When people see me, I want them to see Jesus. The greatest gift she gave me was unconditional love and I am choosing to pass that same gift on to my loved ones.
She was the definition of Grandma and in her gentle, loving way she impacted my life. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if it wasn’t for her influence in my life. I am going to miss her so much and family get-togethers will never be the same without her but I’m so thankful for her love & the memories she’s blessed me with.
